Ultimate Fighter

Ive got a new kid on the way. I like to pretend that I am the architect of the world and can shape my childrens lives in any way and keep them safe at all times. Tis not so. So instead im training my children to be ninjas. Not those pussy ninjas you see on tv getting their asses beat by an old guy in a bathrobe, but a badass ninja that dont take shit from nobody and will throw smoke bombs at your ass. So my next one will also be enrolling in ninja school as soon as it is born. You have to start early ya know? Get em all trained up before elementary school. No fat ass little boy will ever take my girl's lunch money. Theyll chop him to pieces with their katanas before the weezing snot from his grimy nose ever hits the concrete floor of the jungle gym. Thats right. Thats how we roll around here. So watch out when you post up on the east coast. A pink ninja might just whoop your ass.

Holy Shit

I am a husband and a father. Sometimes there comes a point when you look down that road and think to yourself. Woah what the fuck? You're sitting there, reclined back in your recliner, one hand on the remote, the other absentmindedly scratching your testicles and you realize that you are a million miles away from where you saw yourself when you were 16 and that you are totally and utterrly content with what life has given you. My life has been interesting to say the least. And now I have a beautiful family in which to share my lunacy and besiege with my ever increasing dose if insanity. So from this point on in my life, I'd like to share the quirky thoughts and increasingly strange happenings that is my world. My family is a normal southern family, whom are becoming lunatics themselves at an alarming rate. I have a wife that loves to cook, clean, wipe noses and bring a little soundness to my life. That said, my children are three beautiful girls that love to bring out the lunacy in their father. They love to see me walk around their room with a tiara on my head speaking to the hordes of naked barbies. My mother and father are the epitome of mad and have enstowed upon me a sense of parental responsibility. I have the responsibility to raise my children and screw them up as much as possible. Turns out that was the plan for them all along. All that said. Welcome to my world. I'll try and share my lunatical rants and raves. Hopefully you'll find them entertaining.